Last week, I had my hair permed and my hair slightly smells like corn since then.

I had never got a perm before, but my favorite fortune book said “You should do something you have never done before this month.”, so I got it.

It took about one and half hours, and cost about 10k yen. The process was just interesting and I felt it good as life experience.

The perm itself does not suit me well I think. When I joined an online meeting on the next day, the client on the call confirmed me that I’m not right after wake up 😅

One thing I realized is that my hair smells like corn after getting the perm. As I searched on web, the medicine for perm contains ammonia and it should be the cause.

One week has already passed means that I took shower at least seven times, but the smell doesn’t disappear yet.

The smell is not too bad but I personally do not like it, so I hope it disappears soon.

That’s all for today! Hope to see you tomorrow.

Feedback by ChatGPT

Me: 以下は今日の記事です。昨日と同様に添削してください:

ChatGPT:

今日のブログ記事についても、フィードバックをさせていただきます。全体的に、興味深い内容で読者を引き込む良い試みですが、少し改善できる点があります：

1. タイトル: 「My hair smells like corn」は興味を引くタイトルですが、もう少し具体的にすると良いかもしれません。例えば、「The Unexpected Corn Scent of My New Perm」とすることで、読者の好奇心をより刺激することができます。
2. 導入部: 「Last week, I had my hair permed and my hair slightly smells like corn since then.」は分かりやすいですが、「and」の前にある「my hair」は省略可能です。「Last week, I had my hair permed and it has slightly smelled like corn since then.」の方が自然です。
3. 経験の動機: 「my favorite fortune book said “You should do something you have never done before this month.”, so I got it.」この部分は面白い動機ですが、「so I decided to get a perm」とすると行動への結びつきがより明確になります。
4. 時間と費用: 「It took about one and half hours, and cost about 10k yen.」は情報が正確で良いですが、「It took about one and a half hours and cost around 10,000 yen.」のように数字を表記すると、よりプロフェッショナルに見えます。
5. 体験の感想: 「The process was just interesting and I felt it good as life experience.」は少し不自然です。「The process was interesting and I found it to be a valuable life experience.」の方が流暢です。
6. パーマの結果: 「The perm itself does not suit me well I think.」この部分は、「I think the perm itself doesn’t suit me well.」とするとより自然です。「the client on the call confirmed me that I’m not right after wake up」は、「the client asked if I had just woken up」と表現を変えると、よりクリアになります。
7. コーンの匂い: 「One thing I realized is that my hair smells like corn after getting the perm.」は良い表現ですが、「As I searched on the web, the perm solution contains ammonia, which is likely the cause.」とすると、調査結果がより明確に伝わります。
8. 匂いの持続: 「One week has already passed means that I took shower at least seven times, but the smell doesn’t disappear yet.」は「A week has passed, meaning I’ve showered at least seven times, yet the smell persists.」のように修正するとスムーズです。
9. 結論: 「The smell is not too bad but I personally do not like it, so I hope it disappears soon.」は良い結論ですが、「Although the smell isn’t too unpleasant, I personally find it bothersome and hope it fades soon.」と表現を変えると、感情がより伝わります。

文章を書く際には、文法や表現の正確さだけでなく、読者の興味を引くための表現や詳細にも注意を払うとより良い内容になります。これからも日々の経験や学びを共有し続けることで、英語力の向上につながるでしょう。

Me: がんばります